Emotional Honesty: Tell Me More

There’s something powerful, real and raw in being completely honest with your spouse, in creating an environment where emotional intimacy can thrive.

This past year I experienced something I’d only dreamed about before. I sat on my bed and cried over some pain from my past, my heart breaking as I wondered how I could entrust such pain to another individual. That’s about the time my husband came in, saw the tears and sat beside me. His fingers stroked my skin, giving me comfort, but it was the emotion and caring in his eyes that gave me strength.

He asked me what was wrong and then he waited, eyes meeting mine with such caring and compassion that I knew he wanted, and expected, a response. I fought the fear that bubbled inside, the fear that had been planted in a previous relationship that I would be judged or told I was wrong … and I answered him. I told him in the fewest words possible why my heart hurt so much.

He listened. He took a few minutes to ponder what I told him and then he said something I’d never heard while crying like that before. He said simply, “Tell me more.”

He wasn’t afraid of the tears and he wasn’t afraid of hearing “all the gory details.”

My hands shook and my husband took them in his own. He held them and gave me the encouragement to continue.

That’s when I let it all out, the story, the pain and the fear I’d kept locked inside of how people would respond if they knew all the details of my past. You see, we had…